Thursday, 20 February 2014

Issue #37: Why Avengers 3 won't be The Infinity Gauntlet.

Yes, yes, long time between blogs and all that.  Here’s a few thoughts on how an old classic relates to a modern audience, and a couple of DC number ones for you.

The Infinity Gauntlet   I decided to finally read this old thing when Comixology put in on sale for about five or six bucks, and while I was expecting to get something perhaps a little rough around the edges, I was also looking for a little insight into where the Marvel movie universe is likely headed, with community rumours and internet speculation pointing me in the direction of The Infinity Gauntlet, I was expecting a rough draft of Avengers 3.

After about three seconds of contemplation I’m left with the impression that anyone who may have put forward the idea that the appearance of Thanos at the end of The Avengers is evidence of The Infinity Gauntlet being made into a film has either not read it in a very long time, or not read it at all, because almost the only things that could be successfully retained from this book in a translation to film are Thor, Thanos, and the gauntlet itself.  This story in it’s original format is unfilmable for so many reasons:


 Thanos lives on a stone monument that floats in space that he has built to honour Death (yes, Grim Reaper Death), who also appears as a woman at times.  Thanos, you see, seems to want nothing more than to fuck Death.  Big purple alien with magic glove has space boner for mute skeleton woman.  Not exactly a premise to hang your billion dollar movie franchise on.


          To win Death’s favour, Thanos clicks his Infinity Gauntlet clad fingers and snuffs out half the life in the entire universe.  Bit OP, and a huge plothole is created later when Thanos is happy to get punched up for a bit by a few supeheroes.  Modern audiences just won’t buy a truly omnipotent villain.

     Hanging out with Thanos on his little floating rock are his grand daughter Nebula (possibly turning up in Guardians Of The Galaxy?), who Thanos leaves in a miserable zombified state from the start of the book, Thanos’s brother Eros, who looks suspiciously human, whose mouth Thanos has removed, and Mephisto, who is pretty much Marvel Satan.  Call me old fashioned, but there’s just too much weird shit for the opening ten minutes of a film here.


      Apart from Thor, The Infinity Gauntlet is a bit light-on for the Avengers.  Sure, they’re all in it (just try and forget The Hulk’s spiffy open-chest brown jumpsuit), but the main players here are Doctor Strange, Adam Warlock (both yet to be introduced in the Marvel movie universe), and The Silver Surfer (the film rights of whom still belong to Fox).  There’ll need to be more than a few witty Tony Stark quips to keep Joe Popcorn from yelling “WTF” at the screen for this one.


           Spoilers, but the final act sees Adam Warlock talk Thanos into being a good guy.  Groooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn………….

Is it a good comic though?  Well, if you like your nostalgic space Marvel I guess it’s okay, but it’s a bit of a difficult one to recommend.  It’s just so weird, and not in that wonderful bizarre comic book way, more of suspend disbelief / get confused way.  There’s some cool shit here, just not enough to fit together into something cohesive and memorable.  The Infinity Gauntlet stands as an old monument to the tentative first steps of what has become known as the Marvel event, and in 2014 is really only for the morbidly curious.



Justice League 3000 #1   I’m not sure exactly what it is, but DC’s future stuff just does not sit well with me at all.  For some reason I thought I might be into Justice League 3000, after all it’s quite a nice looking book, with 3K Batman looking particularly cool, but it soon reminded me that the year 3000 is a time period in the DC Universe I have no interest in.  The premise of a cloned Justice League, the members of which are less powerful, and also complete jerks, does little to buck the trend, and I’m sure they’ll grow to be better but I’m just not invested at all, and I doubt most people would be either.  This will be on the chopping block before it makes twelve issues, I’m calling it.




Harley Quinn #1   During Villains Month last year, issue #23.2 of Detective Comics was “taken over” to become Harley Quinn #1, an issue I really enjoyed, and while I had some small reservations upon hearing the same team would not be retained for the full time book, I’m glad to report the take on the character from Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti improves on that one shot I liked so much.  The schizophrenic issue #0 that preceded this is also well worth a look, but what we have to look forward to with Harley Quinn is a Bat-universe book that truly shows that world through different eyes.  It’s not set in Gotham though; this opens with Harley moving to Coney Island after inheriting an apartment building from a deceased patient (the details of this story are as yet untold).  Trouble follows, as we learn someone has taken out a contract on our unfazed anti-heroine.  This is a cool book, and if I had any room in my comic book budget I’d pick up Harley in a heartbeat.




One more thing, if by some chance you haven't seen it, how much fun does Guardians Of The Galaxy look?


Thanks kids.