Issue #28: Reed Richards runs the music industry!

Two months of writer’s block means I have a bit to catch up on here.  What follows below is a look at some stuff that by comic book standards is pretty out of date, but with another DC 52 wave incoming I had better knock out some thoughts on the last lot of number ones if I am to respect my own continuity.  I still don’t have my hands on Constantine yet.  I’ve heard whispers it’s not much chop, but then it would hardly be the first let down in DC’s “new” stable (and how much longer can the New 52 be called new anyway?).  A couple of Marvel Now books have won me over lately too, enough to consider perhaps taking a punt on a couple more.  As a fan of superhero comics it’s a pretty good time right now.  To hell with the old brand loyalty battle between the big two, I say if you want spandex heroes saving the world you should pick the best of both worlds.

Justice League Of America #1   My first read of JLA #1 didn’t sit particularly well with me, most likely because I was expecting something else, however a second read left me with a better impression.  The 52 has done a bunch of team books and few of them have convinced me right away to continue with them.  Ths book primarily follows a conversation between Amanda Waller and Steve Trevor about assembling this team with an underlying mandate to take out the (real) Justice League should the need arise.  The US government is nervous about all the super heroes popping up and wants a team of it’s own and under it’s control.  On the list are Hawkman, Martian Manhunter, Catwoman, Katana, Stargirl, Vibe, and most recent (and in my opinion, most interesting) Green Lantern Simon Baz, with Green Arrow certain for a slot on the team too, though this is not a done deal in this issue (he’s on the bloody cover though, hoisting the stars and stripes, I’m thinking he’s safe).  David Finch’s shadowy style makes the artwork in this issue quite suitable, and while I thought the team introduction in Team 7 was better, Geoff Johns manages to end this book on a decent enough cliffhanger for Green Arrow fans.  JLA will be part of DC’s upcoming Trinity War event, which also ropes in Justice League and Justice League Dark, and that’s enough for me to stick with it for a while.

Vibe #1   Is there really enough interest in a fourth tier character spun out of JLA to sustain his own monthly title?  Admittedly, Vibe is okay, but it’s little more than a quick origin story that’s a little difficult to swallow even in a world of super heroes – get in the car, get revenge on that monster, oh look your powers unlocked!  Even if your interest in JLA is high, only the most ardent of fans with plentiful disposable income would stick with this.  It’s not horrible – the last couple of pages featuring Waller’s “circus” are pretty cool – but if DC really wants me to collect 52 comics a month they need to be fifty cents each, or at least the titles that have lower appeal like Vibe do.

Katana #1   I was ready to dismiss Katana with an identical argument to the one above, but for a second JLA spinoff the two books almost couldn’t be more different.  Immediately the striking artwork by Alex Sanchez sets a wonderful tone that’s refreshingly different from anything else in the 52 I’ve seen – the sort of art you wish you could see in sketches before inks and colours are added.  This tale of revenge and a sword with an ancient history that captures the souls of those killed by it is balanced nicely with a style that politely nods to the culture on which it is based.  And unlike Vibe I think I can care about this character after one issue!  DC has been the target of criticisms regarding their female characters, but Katana takes steps to remedy the situation nicely.  I like this very much.  Just look at the page one artwork below.  It's beautiful.

New Avengers #4   The Marvel Now New Avengers wasn’t doing a great job of convincing me to collect it.  I checked it out because it looked to be the closest thing I could get to a Black Panther comic at the moment, but the Illuminati angle (not that Illuminati) was played up a little too much for my liking, and when Strange takes out Cap simply for opposing the group’s plan to destroy an alternate Earth, well, I got the shits with it.  I would have dropped it but for two things: I realised I’m probably supposed to have a reaction to what they did to Cap as some kind of confrontation or resolution will come later, and Mitch at All Star Comics convinced me I should stick around a little longer.  I’m glad I did, because the fourth issue finally got a hold of me.  I still would like to see a bit more action from Panther but I like seeing Dr Strange back in his robes and looking like a wizard again.  The panel of the statue of Magneto on the other Earth where the Statue Of Liberty should be is a great touch, a is Namor’s accompanying word to Beast, “Admit it Henry… the idea excites you a little, doesn’t it?”.  A rule of thumb: give Marvel arcs six issues before giving up.

Thanks kids.  I’m off to read through my pile of comics from Free Comic Book Day.

Issue #27: Mouldy secret sauce kills the Boy Wonder.

This burger is not so fresh.  Some filling is hot off the grill and the bread is today's, but there's a few ingredients that have sat out in the sun for over a month.  After my last comics haul I wrote the first two reviews below, but didn't publish because I like to have a minimum of three.  Then I didn't buy anything for a while.  Now I'm up to date again I've written a third, and here we are.  I generally find my small group of readers don't mind if this blog's content is fresh or not, but I still like to try my best.  Also, there's a couple of DC crossovers I've been reading that I'd really like to hold out on until I've read their conclusions.

But I'm back, and procrastinating less.  If something doesn't taste good you can always spit it out.

Comic Burger is now featured on Retry Quit, a new and rather nice geek website with a skew towards video games, which features plenty of articles and is also home to video game podcast Red Barrel Radio, which I often appear and swear on.  Take a geez!

Also, if you read Comic Burger and like it, like it on Facey!  It warms me up immensely, and there's a like button just on the right there --->

^^^^ A special mention to Secret Avengers #34 for this awesome bit.

Indesructible Hulk #1   I don’t really understand what Marvel Now! is, or what it wants to be, other than a corporate response to a rival’s successes.  Rather than a continuity reset it just seems to be more issues starting at number one (over a spread out and sporadic release, I might add) and a pointless new logo on every book.  Indestructible Hulk is the first of these I’ve read, and while it’s not horrible, there’s little here to excite me or intrigue me about one of my favourite characters.  I could provide a plot summary, but look, it’s Hulk offering to join SHIELD.  That’s about it.  I like Hulk as the fringe character, the out of control weapon on the cliffedge of sanity who could just as easily save the world as destroy it.  World War Hulk, that’s the shit!  As much as I enjoy the Avengers movie, given it’s massive success it seems that’s the universe lore that is now integrating into the comics.  Well, I don’t much care for it, and while this may serve as a fine jumping on point for those that have seen the movies and want to try comics out, I’ve decided to drop the Hulk, at least until he gets back to being truly larger than life again.  Or Silvestri comes back to pencil.

Daredevil #21   Until now I haven’t openly admitted that my interest in what DC is putting out has come at the expense of my interest in Marvel’s stuff, and that my general investment in the Marvel universe has waned considerably.  The exception to this though is Mark Waid’s Daredevil run, which I read eagerly and have found to be consistently impressive.  It’s been a while since I’ve given it it’s due here though, and as issue 21 seems to put a cap on much of the arc, now is probably a good time to give Daredevil a shout out.  I really don’t want to spoil it for anyone though, short of this:  there’s plenty of comic book sci-fi weird shit in the first half of this book to tick more than enough Comic Burger boxes, and Matt Murdock’s “insanity”, explained in the previous issue, is explained to Foggy, but there’s no water-under-the-bridge solution for the two lawyers, providing future issues with the ongoing subplot.  If you’re curious about Daredevil I insist you grab the trades from the start of Waid’s run and catch up.  It’s damn good stuff, and the fact that a seemingly unimportant event in the first issue is relevant twenty issues later is a master stroke.  Love it. 

Batman Incorporated #8   If you don’t know Damian Wayne is dead by now, you probably couldn’t care less in the first place.  Grant Morrison kills off the son of Bruce Wayne and my favourite Robin pretty violently in this issue, an action he originally intended to take quite early on in the fictional life of the character it turns out, but Damian’s popularity with readers has seen him hang around until just now.  I’ve considered Morrison’s Batman Incorporated to be somewhat an oddity in the Bat universe, albeit an interesting and fun one, and it is nice to see an event in it’s pages that will heavily impact the 52 given the story has seemed almost separate from the other Bat books.    All in all, I like how this was handled, and let’s face it, it’s nothing the old lazarus pit wouldn’t fix, eh?  If you’re looking to jump on just to see this all go down I recommend picking up issue #7 too and going from there, it’ll give you a little more grounding without having to splash out on the whole arc.

Thanks again kids.

Issue #26: A late look at the third wave.

There hasn’t been much time for blogging or reading comics lately.  With my retail management job’s responsibilities ramping up to phenomenal levels pre-Christmas and selling my house, then moving all my stuff by the carload every night for three weeks, and then setting up my new place, well, I’m fucked, but things have settled down considerably this week and the huuuuge amount of comics my dear store has been hanging on to for me were a welcome indulgence to purchase all in one hit, a reward to myself for hanging in there.  I’ve been smashing through a fair bit of that monolithic pile of paper in the last week, which has included about three months worth of Amazing Spider-Man,  seven issues of Incredible Hulk, the start of the Superbook crossover event H’el On Earth, and a very awesomely fucked up return of The Joker in still-pick-of-the-52-bunch Batman.

I’m not going to review all of the months-old comics I’ve read for the most part though.  Tonight I make an exception for the last four DC 52 issue ones, I guess just to maintain continuity.  This blog was born out of DC’s reshuffle, and I feel it’s only right and just.

Firstly though, my dear Mum bought me a couple of comic related books for Christmas that I thought were well worth mentioning.  Firstly, a collection of strips from Art Spiegelman called Breakdowns, whose work I was unfamiliar with and admittedly had to wiki to educate myself (oh, he did Maus!), but the sense of humour is deliciously dark and it all seems quite personal and autobiographical so far.  The influence of Mad Magazine on the artist is openly admitted and present, and as a child who also grew up on Mad I can appreciate this pathway into the work.  The whole thing is presented in a large format hardcover.  Very nice.

The Leather Nun And Other Incredibly Strange Comics compiles a collection of wonderfully weird comic book covers each accompanied by a page of text providing background on content and history.  These vary from political propaganda, failed foreign takes on western characters, and product placement to good old fetish pornography.  You wouldn’t need to be a fan of comics or even need much of an understanding of comics at all to enjoy this book, and the format works for a cover to cover read or a quick glance.  Well worth tracking down.

Spider-Man The Icon is also big hardcover beast, and uses every one of it’s 316 pages to lovingly present Spider-Man through the decades not simply as a character, but as a cultural phenomenon.  Presented here is the webslinger not just in comics (although Spidey in print does feature prominently), but also in animation, toys, movies and everything in between.  The recent Amazing Spider-Man film is newer than this book so is obviously absent, but you would struggle to find a stone unturned in this massive volume, and the photos of all those old toys are particularly interesting.  There’s this great Spider-Man and Hulk tool set consisting of some crappy plastic molded tools, and er, that’s it.  The only thing that makes it Spidey and Hulk related is the packaging.  Luckily, my Mum has better sense when it comes to Christmas presents, and I loved all of these.  Thanks Mum.

Talon #1   Scott Snyder’s Court Of Owls arc in Batman was arguably the best story in DC’s new 52 launch, and was a critical and commercial (as far as comics go) success.  To create new bad guys for Batman and do it in a way that was believable and interesting is no small achievement, and if you haven’t read it already you might want to stop reading this and download Batman #1 to #11 right now.  Given the calibre of the material it’s no surprise that DC have decided to run with it a little more with and offer up Talon as part of it’s third wave.  Also penned by Snyder, Talon unfortunately does little to excite or compel me to read on.  See, my initial thought was that this book would be about Thomas Wayne Jnr, but instead it tells the story of Calvin (name drawn from hat), a defector of the Court roped into taking revenge against his former captors by a (wait for it….. waaaaaaaiiit……. just revving up the cliché-o-matic 6000…… ok it’s ready!) mysterious old man who seems to know everything.  To it’s credit, this does provide some interesting side notes for those that liked the original arc, like the fact that only two thirds of the Court’s members were arrested, but it’s not enough to get me invested.  I might have been, if there were some kind of hint that what happens here is important to Batman’s next date with the owls, but there isn’t, and since Calvin’s whole deal is to wipe them all out, he’ll either succeed, and one of Batman’s best bunch of foes in years are gone forever, or he’ll fail, and who wants to fucking read that?  I figure though, that Talon will meander around the initial setup, and they’ll try and keep it half interesting by chucking Deathstroke in one issue, and team him up with Superboy for no reason, etc, until the book is cancelled some time over the next eighteen months.  And Calvin’s appearance is an odd choice.  Look at him on that cover.  He looks like he’s raging while playing League Of Legends or some shit.

Sword Of Sorcery #1   My first impressions on this were that I would hate it, and that it was probably not worth my time.  Guess What?  Boring shit.

Team Seven #1   Here’s another one I thought would suck, despite the fact it features Deathstroke (unmasked for this whole issue), which has been a guilty pleasure of mine up until Liefeld took over and started drawing him like a roided-up Spider-Man with no neck.  Unlike previous team books in the 52, there’s none of that groan worthy dialogue where everyone calls each other by name with the author’s expectation that that’s how you’ll learn who the characters are.  In it’s place is a rather effective team assessment by an unseen assumed assembler of the group which I find much more accessible and enjoyable to read.  The team is sent on a blind first mission to infiltrate an airborne prison for super powered criminals that has gone off the grid, only to discover blood smeared walls and a nasty surprise.  Team Seven works because of the friction between the team members and the fact that even among a bunch of gun-toting badasses there can be a couple of different personalities.  I’ll check out the next few issues.

The Phantom Stranger #1   Dan Didio must like the same kind of yesteryear comics that I like.  When he was writing OMAC I enjoyed the echoes of 1960s Hulk that shined through, and with The Phantom Stranger I can’t help but feel a Doctor Strange vibe from the same era.  Not too much happens in this first issue, but how much can a writer give away about a character they want to cloak in mystery?  Still, it works well enough, and the book’s last panel is a shot of Pandora, so it looks like this title will provide answers on that side of the universe (and probably many more questions too).  It’s not bad.  I’ll probably have a look at a couple more.

Still a lot more to read this month, so expect less of a wait between now and next blog.  Thanks for reading, kids.

Issue #25: Bruce Wayne's Docklands apartment.

Hey there folks!  Here’s some thoughts on a few more zero issues.  I realise these have been out for a while but my comic reading has taken a back seat to work and other stuff this month and I’m behind in my reading quite a bit!  Hope you enjoy.

Resurrection Man #0     I was disappointed to hear that Resurrection Man was another title getting the chop by DC, and considering the pretty uninspiring titles that make up the 52’s third wave along with quite a few other books that deserve to go, I am baffled at how this admittedly third tier but still entertaining book doesn’t sell enough to stay on the racks.  I’ve noted before here, and in conversations with friends that I get a TV show vibe from this one, and if it was a TV show you’d all go batshit for it.  After the season cliffhanger of issue #12, this zero issue functions a little like a look at all the highlights you would have got from the next six issues jammed down in to one, and while there’s some good stuff (the origin of the second Mitch Shelley being a particular highlight), it’s glossed over a little too quickly to work as well as it deserves to.  Actually, a LOT too quickly.  There’s an angel and a demon demanding a soul as payment for all the deaths Mitch has chalked up.  There’s the origin of the Body Doubles.  There’s the origin of the whole scientific fuck up that kicks off all of it.  Shit, there’s even a cameo by Deathstroke.  And it all could have been masterfully spread across the next year worth of issues.  A real shame.  The book then finishes with hints at more story, and the final message “(Never ever) The End”.  Sorry DC, but even though I like this character and won’t get excited about future cameos and seeing Mitch shoehorned into another book for an issue or two.  You guys fucked up when you canned this.  It deserved to be it’s own story for at least a while longer.

Superman #0   Another retelling of the Superman origin story might have sufficed for this zero issue, except Action Comics #5 did that eight months ago, and DC probably has a hard enough time convincing their readers they aren’t out to completely screw them for their cash, so this story of Jor-El and his scientific studies into the impending doom of Krypton has been churned out instead.  Now the concept seems acceptable enough, but the execution is lacklustre, and even Superfans like me will have a hard time buying this.  You really need to look no further than the cover to see what’s wrong.  Yep, that’s ultra-nerdy geologist Jor-El there, striking a heroic super-pose and tearing through the cover to deliver his hypotheses to the planet.  Perhaps, as I did, you’re thinking this functions simply as a metaphor for the powerful lineage this character will be responsible for.  I’m sorry to report that unfortunately, in an effort to make a scientist interesting for the masses, dear old Super-dad flexes and fights with the best of them in his quest to make the population aware that Krypton will die.  I didn’t mind Kenneth Rocafort’s artwork, but there’s little else to get excited about with this one.  I mean, I love Superman and even I thought this was shit.

Batman Incorporated #0   Having recently read the entire run of Batman Incorporated, I was able to get a little more out of this than your casual reader might, and unlike some of these zero issues, this is true to it’s source and feel like it fits into the story, instead of being tacked on as an afterthought.  The jumpy-pacing-that-shouldn’t-work-but-does is here, the inception of Batman Incorporated at the corporate level is presented but doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, and there’s some very interesting artwork.  I can’t help but feel warm as the Dark Ranger/Australia angle is fleshed out more too.  Batman Incorporated is just a cool comic that’s different to any other Batman title going, and issue #0 deserves to stand in it’s continuity.  Good job.  Now can more members of the Justice League visit and mention Melbourne please?

DC Universe Presents #0   This one wasn’t in my order at the shop, but when I spotted it on the rack I picked it up right away.  DC Universe Presents functions as… well, whatever DC wants it to be.  It was Deadman’s book for a few issues, then something else, then probably something else after that.  For it’s zero issue, someone had the idea of making it a bumper issue and jamming in five stories, mostly relating to characters that have been dropped from the 52.  While poor sales led to the demise of these books, the acknowledgement that they were popular with some people out there and the service to those people to revisit them is refreshing, especially as I fall into this category in regards to the sadly short lived OMAC.  Additionally on offer here are Mister Terrific, Deadman, Blackhawks and Hawk & Dove.  The latter is a confusing mess to likely anyone who didn’t read it, but the rest were easy enough to follow, with the Blackhawks story tying into the early Justice League arc and being pretty cool.  I bought this for another OMAC fix though and it didn’t disappoint.  Keith Giffen and Dan Dideo return and man the controls as if they’d never left, with even some of the six-panels-per-page artwork I’d loved so much remaining intact.  The origin relates more to Brother Eye itself, where we learn that the satellite was built by Batman with alien attack with tech recovered after the battle with Darkseid (more Justice League tie ins!).  OMAC always titled each individual issue by expanding the acronym of O.M.A.C. to be relevant to the story, and in this one it stands for “Origins Matter After Cancellation”.  Joy.  It’s so fucking good to revisit and if this team ever does OMAC again I will buy the lot.  I imagine, or at least hope, that fans of the other characters here got the same kick out of having one more go around.

Thanks kids.

Issue #24: What exactly is in Whiskas these days?

Two blogs in one week is a feat not seen here since last year’s new 52, but I thought I’d take advantage of the last moments of my time off work.  I really wanted to do something a bit special, but ended up just reading comics and playing NHL 13 and Borderlands 2.  And I regret nothing.

Swamp Thing #12   Why is there another fucking talking cat in my comic?  This issue sees Swamp Thing cross over with everyone’s darling of the issue ones, Animal Man.  Everyone’s darling except me.  I’ll just sacrifice a little street cred here and say I thought Animal Man’s initial premise was boring and the artwork looked shit (yep, I said it).  Readers of Animal Man have informed me from early on that this crossover was inevitable, and now it’s here I’m not impressed at all.  See, as I don’t read Animal Man I have very little understanding of the relevance of almost every character in this book, and to make things that little bit shittier this issue is actually a second part of a story that begins in Animal Man #12.  Which I don’t read.  Now it’s no secret that publishers attempt these kinds of crossovers to tempt you into buying a title you don’t read in the hopes you might like what you see and stick with it.  Not me though.  DC did this to me with Superboy for months, and not only did I not start collecting Teen Titans, but Superboy is on the fucking chopping block.  And so is Swamp Thing.  Like most people I have a limited budget, and can’t afford more titles, but I do ponder if the grass might be greener in another title like oh, I dunno…. Green Lantern or Wonder Woman, or something else from Marvel, and that one of these might be money better spent.  Anyway I’ve still got Swamp Thing #0 to read, and it’ll be make or fucking break I can tell you.

Swamp Thing #0   This issue at least reminds me of what I liked about Swamp Thing in the first place, that at it’s heart it’s a great horror book, and the story’s most chilling moment is in this issue, where Arcane, in the grotesque form of a brain and face atop a large hand crawls on to the face of a sleeping baby and murders it.  In fact, Arcane’s murder spree through time is more or less what this one is all about, and I could go for more of this, but Swamp Thing seems to be going in a more fantasy/horror direction when I’d really rather see it echo Scott Snyder’s other scary book, Severed, and be a more straight up horror story.  This one almost turned me around, but I think I need to drop this book and just ask around for where to get the kind of fix I’m really after.  Sorry Swamp Thing, we’re done.

Detective Comics #0   Holy shit, there’s a good one in the bunch!  Two stories here and they’re both worth your money.  The main story shows a pre-Batman Bruce Wayne training in the Himalayas with a sensei and his wife.  His humanity is in danger of being trained out of him, as he is told that all attachment is weakness.  There’s one final lesson for Bruce to learn, but I’ll stay spoiler free and just say I really liked this one.  The second story, though much shorter, I liked even more.  Alfred is custodian to the Wayne mansion in Bruce’s absence, as a businessman pressures him to sell the property.  Alfred remains faithful that Bruce will return and refuses.  When Bruce does return, he tells Alfred he has been training, and begins to explain a grand plan he has for the future.  The whole Bruce-away-training thing is a great story hook that worked in Batman Begins and works well in the continuity reset (of sorts) now.  This part of Batman is ripe for good stories and I hope to see more.

Supergirl #0   With Supergirl’s origin story pretty much ignored in the first twelve issues, the zero issue presents a good enough opportunity as any to tell it.  Told mainly from Zor-El’s perspective, we see his final day’s efforts put into the preservation of Argo City from the coming disaster, and his scheme to save his daughter’s life.  There’s isn’t much on offer that’s not already common knowledge, but just as I was about to dismiss this one as boring, a few panels throw a spanner in the works and may just lead to a small reward for my efforts in reading all the Super-titles: Superboy appears in a few panels to set up a future story where somehow Superboy transcends time and space to witness the final days of Krypton!  Not a great issue by any stretch, but this little inclusion is enough to keep me interested in Superboy into 2013, and this is what I’d prefer to see crossover-wise from DC, characters from the books I’m already reading so I can get the most out of what’s going on.

Justice League #0   Lots of Shazam.  A little bit of Pandora.  One panel of the Phantom Stranger.  For an issue of Justice League there sure is a lack of the Justice League.  To be fair, this story continues the Shazam story that has featured as the second story in this book since issue #7, and it’s been pretty good too.  Secondly, with Green Lantern announcing he has better shit to do in space and quitting, there’s a Shazam-sized space on the team that needs filling.  So while Cyborg, The Flash and those other heroes might not be present this time, it’s likely tying up Shazam’s intro before #13 is important to the regular Justice League reader.  Those uninitiated with the League looking for a jump on point might want to grab #12 over this though, which despite being the close of an arc, still arms the reader with the right ammo for what’s approaching.

While I wait for some more zeroes to come I have about a year's worth of Venom to catch up on.  Have fun in the meantime, kids!

Issue #23: Zero respect for your market?

My last post gained a monumental amount of traffic due in no small part to my link to Top Shelf and the fantastic  "What Am I Going To Do Without You?"by Patt Kelley linking back to my humble blog in kind.  I loved this book so much it kind of made me look down my nose at the stuff I usually read to the point I didn’t really feel like writing about it.  Fuck you Secret Avengers!  Come back when you can make me cry!  Seriously though, the lack of emotional response from what I’ve read since (which has been quite a lot) did sap my motivation for writing reviews, and how exactly do I follow up my most popular post ever?  Well, perhaps by getting shitty about DC’s zero month.

For those not aware, DC has decided to postpone 52 issue #13s to release 52 issue #0s instead.  At first this seemed like an innocent enough gimmick aimed at collectors like myself, and I considered buying the lot as companion pieces to my entire 52 #1s, even if every single cover looked bland as shit.  What could possibly go wrong?

I ran this by Troy at All Star Comics.  “Are you sure?” was the response.  Here was a guy who knows all about my new DC love, and who stands to gain financially from this transaction, urging me to perhaps rethink my decision. 

I ran it past my bud Ty, who also went for all 52 of the 52, and who likewise responded as if I’d proposed streaking at a boxing match with, “really?”.

Sandwiched with doubt, week one of zero month arrived, and I was feeling regretful, but having ordered these titles didn’t want to put the store out by cancelling last minute…… um, unless that was okay?  I called All Star Comics to cancel Batwoman and Batwing anyway (long negative rant for another day), this time Mitch took my call and cancelled these two books for me, before chucking in something along the lines of, “you don’t really want every single zero issue, do you?”.  No Mitch, as I think back to shit like Legion Lost, Legion Of Superheroes and that fucking G.I. Combat thing I realise I really, REALLY FUCKING DON’T and if it’s all cool I’ll just stick with my regular titles please.  The universe thrice warned me to steer clear and it was good advice because as it turns out even my regular titles left me wanting for the most part.  So thanks guys, for pulling a madman back from the abyss.  Heroes all.

My problem with it is this: someone at DC sees a chance to slightly repackage their product after their huge repackaging last year, probably in another bid to win new readership.  Now I can't fault that concept, because the new 52 was a great avenue for me in to DC and now I'm hooked, but now that I count as a regular reader it's my balls in the top drawer.  Why?  Because for the most part every story arc has to wrap up right on issue #12 so they can release a bunch of one-shots and then start new arcs from #13.  Some creative teams are ending on #12 anyway, some are clever enough to juggle their stories so it will feel natural enough.  Others just get a huge veiny zeroey penis slapped right in the middle of their story just for the hell of it though, and the book suffers because of it.  They did not need zero issues for every single title in the 52.  At least it'll be done and dusted in a month's time.

Not that it's all horrible, it just feels a little soulless. I've read a few, and here's a few thoughts.

Superboy #0   A curious and potentially pointless story is presented here as two shady characters at N.O.W.H.E.R.E., toothy demon thing Lord Harvest and his constantly-bleeding-from-the-eyes buddy Omen observe Superboy’s rebooted origin from a slightly different perspective.  This actually leans so heavily on Superboy #1 to fill it’s pages, I’m left feeling like a sucker for thinking the whole zero month idea might be more than a cheap gimmick.  Lord Harvest reveals himself to be the true puppet master of the cloning project and peppers his observations with recountings of the history of Kryptonian cloning and the subsequent violent uprising (though how he manages to be such an expert in the history of an extinct alien culture is lazily glossed over), additionally revealing his own subconscious programming of Superboy towards violent tendencies.  While this issue is aiming to set something up for the next year in this title I can’t say I’m excited or even intrigued in any way, and I’m seriously considering dropping Superboy altogether.  The title screwed me over this year by aggressively attempting to get me to pick up Teen Titans, and all #0 has done is given me an insight into future stories to potentially render them predictable.  And I liked it so much at the start.  Boo.

Batman #0  Two stories make up this issue.  The first by regular Batman team Snyder and Capullo serves up a Year One style account of Batman pre-suit setting himself up for his battle against crime and getting in a little too deep for his own good, infiltrating bank robbing bad guys The Red Hood Gang and almost eating a lead salad for his efforts.  This is an entertaining enough take on early Bruce Wayne that cuts off as it gets good with the frustrating footnote “the story continues in 2013!”.  For the second time tonight I’m struck with the glaring reality that DC’s zero month is a weird idea with hurried and unrewarding execution.  So on to the second story on offer, set a year later, titled “Tomorrow”, written by James Tynion IV and drawn by Andy Clarke.  This actually worked a little better for me, as it’s a self contained one shot that doesn’t try to be an important chapter, instead looking in on a bunch of characters that will figure heavily in the Gotham in years to follow.  Jim Gordon explains to Barbara Gordon the importance of the symbol of Batman to Gotham before turning on the Bat signal for the first time.  A young Dick Grayson acrobatically thwarts a purse snatcher.  Jason Todd gets a reality check while committing a robbery that goes too far.  And school-aged Tim Drake steals the show when he uses his technical talents to get his school principal arrested for embezzlement.  Despite the ages of the various future Robins being squished together here, I like what this went for.

Action Comics #0   Superstar scribe Grant Morrison teams with personal favourite and ex-Batwing painty-style artist Ben Oliver for this offering, and as the retelling of Superman’s origin was already covered in Action Comics #5, this story is set as Clark Kent is getting himself set up in Metropolis.  We know all this stuff already though, except for the part about Jimmy Olsen photographing women for a living pre-Daily Planet gig (and complaining about it!  Fuck you Jim, you don’t whinge about that job!).  Morrison isn’t really bringing his A-game here, but that’s okay when Ben Oliver is making a Superman comic look this good.  There’s actually not that much of Superman to show off, but cleverly the colour scheme ensures that when we do see red and blue it pounces off the page.  Today’s research turns up nothing confirmed about Oliver being retained for this book.  A shame, because his work seems so suited to the tone of what new 52 Action Comics wants to be, and should be.  Oh, then there’s some nonsensical crap story on the end, featuring no characters I’ve ever heard of, followed by a page explaining who Superman actually is, in case I’ve been in a coma for 80 years.

Green Arrow #0   Young Oliver Queen does exactly what anyone that rich and that young would do when put in charge of an oil rig: turn the whole thing in to a huge party and fly your friends in by helicopter.  But when pirates take advantage of the increased air traffic to slip past security and steal the oil, Ollie decides to take matters into his own hands.  Trouble is young Ollie is all will and only average skill.  His archery is far from the honed talent he is destined to develop and decisions are cocky…. with devastating results.  It seems few survive this day, including Oliver’s friend Tommy Merlyn, who seemingly dies covered in scarring burns in the water…. until waking up years later in a convent from a coma, and pissed off!  The thing I like about this particular zero issue is that it’s setting up a major enemy for Green Arrow in a story that’s probably not too far away, and from what I’ve seen so far, the zero issues that have managed to feel relevant are the one’s that are working.

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Back with more zeroes soon.  But not all of them.  That would be just fucking stupid.